Make the leap into motherhood
My daughter was about to be born. She was halfway out of my body when I bellowed, “Why isn’t she out yet? Can someone just pull her out of me?” My midwife gently said, “You stopped pushing, darling. Push and she’ll come.” The sensation of her being partially born overwhelmed me to the point of confusion-- I assumed my pushing was ineffective because she was stuck, not that labor stalled because I stopped pushing. I listened to my midwife and gave one more push to bring her into the world. The only support I needed at that moment was a reminder of what I was (or wasn't) doing, as opposed to emotional comfort.
This part of my birth story had been moved to the back of my mind- not entirely forgotten but tossed to the side. It came back to me the other week when I was talking to a friend about how much I hate writing. I literally spoke the same words I said when I was giving birth to my daughter. Those words "can someone just pull this thing out of me!" live deep inside me. I'm a hard worker but when things feel overwhelming, it’s natural for me to lose sight of what I’m doing or working towards. Our 'window of tolerance', the sweet spot for optimal brain functioning, is tested when life feels out of control. When we are pushed outside our comfort zone, the primal aspects of our brain take over leading us into a fight, flight, or freeze response. Doing hard things, trying something new, getting sick, or having a baby pushes us outside into new emotional territory, and if we don't have the tools to adjust to these changes in our life, we suffer. This is why I think it's SO IMPORTANT to view pregnancy as more than just a waiting period for parenthood to begin or a medical event to "get through". Pregnancy, birth, and postpartum recovery is a time of heightened emotion, and of physical and neurobiological changes. This makes it the perfect time to mold and integrate our brain into something more flexible, resilient, and compassionate. You can learn how to use your mind and body to change your brain and emotions so that pregnancy, birth, and parenthood expand who you are and what you are capable of. Send me a message to learn more!